just a well meaning hipster.

i think it's time to clear up this misconception that the whole world is out to get me. that aditude is both egotistical (a big word meaning selfish) and counterproductive (a bigger word meaning the opposite of useful).

exhibit a. 

i'm backing out of my drive way, late for work, and i hear a suspicious clicking sound. i shift roughly to neutral and engage the emergency brake as i jump out of the car to find my fog light, dangling by a few scraggly wires like a miserable loose tooth. great. i wedge it into its fog light hole and tell it to stay. then i speed off to work. 

a few hours later i am pulling out of said work place when this giant crevice magically appears before me. there is a scraping followed by a bumping/crashing, then more scraping as i pull through the "pothole" (that could be more accurately described as a large pit or perhaps a shallow well).

im a bit shaken, dare i say preoccupied, as i approach a red light and see a particularly disheveled homeless man running toward my car waving both hands wildly in the air. you can see he is distressed as he shouts something at my car. 

naturally, i stop the car and ask him how I can help leaving him with any cash i happen to have in my wallet. 

false. 

i never carry a wallet, and my natural reaction when any person runs at me waving his/her arms wildly is to run away. which i did. 

two blocks later, i hear a pathetic thump followed by a sickening crack. i pull over to find that my fog light has not only escaped its hole but that the whole front lip of my beloved car has broken free from the frame. 

the man's senseless shouting suddenly takes on meaning, and i kind of hate myself for judging him so quickly. he probably wasnt even homeless. just a well meaning hipster. 

awkward is awesome.

sometimes you just act. ok maybe you dont. im going to stop accusing you of doing things and bring this back to me. sometimes i do things without thinking. in fact, one of the phrases I hear from those around me quite often is "what were you thinking?!" 

let me just make one thing clear i have never woken up and said to myself, "im gonna do something really awkward and ridiculous today!" but....it happens. 

exhibit a.

im in the store. its about 11:30pm. it smells like wet salad and new clothes. big superstores have always smelled weird to me. all i need is a box of snicker doodles and a pad of paper. my goal accomplished, i approach the check out line. there is a middle aged women attempting to appease an angry toddler. i guess he is maybe three years old and unaccustomed to the word no. there is a slobbery sucker hanging out of his mouth and his screeches are outdone only by his acrobatic attempts to escape his frazzled capter.

im awestruck and cant stop staring. overpriced candies and packages of gum are flying everywhere as this child's limbs rage out of control. 

suddenly the world goes unnaturally still as the tiny tyrant's sucker falls to the ground. 

the silence is short lived and the middleaged women shoots me a short look of terror as we hear the child take a deep breath and commence screaming but at a whole new intensity. 

this moment calls for a hero. unfortunately i am the only one around. i step forward and pick up the now fuzzy superstore floorified sucker. without thinking, and a bit robotically, as if my actions are beyond my control, i hand the contaminated sweet to the toddler.  

the kid goes quiet and stares at me in shock. then without looking away, in what appears to be slow motion, and to the horror of his chaperone, he pops the sucker into his mouth. 

i walk away. snicker doodles and paper forgotten, i head for the door, my car, anywhere but that awkward moment. 

however, just before passing through the automatic sliding doors, i pause to enjoy the tantrum free ambience that has rested upon the store and with a small smile think to myself--awkward is awesome. 

lucky

luck is the residue of design. 
-rickey, branch 

i've been thinking about luck lately--especially about how lucky i am.

i know according to that sunscreen guy, advice is a form of nostalgia and by extension somewhat useless if we don't have a certain amount of rapport or connection with the advice giver, but this next installment isn't so much about giving advice as me sharing with you...about me. should that knowledge benefit you in anyway, well then, i guess that is just, lucky.

to fear or not to fear

do you love how i started this blog and then only posted once? just so you know reader, i open blogger and write posts for you quite often... and then i decide not to post them. this brings me to the topic of not only this post, but the quote of the day. fear.

what are we so afraid of?

“there is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure”  

-paulo coelho, the alchemist

i think you are right paulo coelho. fear of failure is a powerful driving force in too many people's lives. i know it is in mine. i've been trying to think of a positive use of the emotion fear.

i can see why it would be necessary when i think of the whole 'learning not to touch hot stoves' analogy,  but isn't acting on knowledge and experience so much more useful.

if i know something is going to burn me, why can't i just be satisfied with knowing that and guide my actions accordingly instead of flinching every time i touch a stove-like object?

so here's to fear, or should i say the conquering of fears. i am going to write more often. or am i? it is april fools. this could be a ploy. you'll have to stay tuned. i do love a good cliff hanger.

hello world

i'm back. according to popular demand, and finally giving into the fact that i can't spend all day on the phone trying to catch up with old friends, i've decided to pick up blogging again. its been almost two years since i have done this so here goes. 

that being said, i do have lots of fun stories for everyone, and all kinds of my own opinions that nobody cares about--so... be excited.

let's start with the quote of the day.

“reserving judgements is a matter of infinite hope.”  

-f. scott fitzgerald

i've been thinking about the great gatsby lately (possibly because i had to read it about five times in the last month or so). there are some classic quotes that have gotten me thinking about what i think. this is one of those quotes.

i invite you all to jump off the judger train and bask in the warming influence that is hope instead.

hope is what makes life fun. the suspense of believing in someone despite first impressions is a feeling unparalleled. that feeling when someone succeeds beyond all odds can be as exciting to you as the degree of hope you have exercised in that person. this includes you, feel free to believe in yourself.

thats all i've got for today, but i would love to hear your thoughts about the quote of the day. so leave a comment about the quote or any stories you are hoping to hear.